A Sorta Post-Adoption Update

So, I really had no intention at all of writing many post-adoption posts after our first year home with Brooks, but everyone who knows our family in real life has been commenting lately on just how much he's changed and grown over the last few months that I just feel like this is a little bit necessary for documentation purposes! 

Before I dive in to where we are today, I want to take a look back at my last post-adoption update which was at one year home...actually, scratch that...it was at 9 months home...because apparently I'm not good at the consistency thing. ;) 

At that point, Brooks was 22 pounds, stringing two, sometimes three, words together, had just been weaned off his steroids for asthma, and was about to start preschool for the first time.

Oh, how times have changed.

On January 6, we celebrated 397 days with Brooks in our family. He spent 396 days without one, so as of that day, we could say he had been a beloved son longer than he was in an orphanage. Praise God. 

Nowadays, not only has this boy FILLED OUT in a serious way (I'd bet he's upwards of 25 pounds), but we now have full conversations with him asking questions and speaking in almost sentences that consist of several (up to 8ish) words. He talks like a caveman but for not quite two-and-a-half, we're pretty dang impressed! 

Examples I heard today:

 "Me say night-night Carter Kate-Kate."  

"What you doing now Mommy?"

"Me go gym with Carter and Mommy." 

"What happened, Daddy?" 

"Me happy when we jump outside. With Carter. And Kate Kate. And Daddy. And Mommy. Everybody jump!" 

And my absolute favorite:

"How you doin?" 

Yes, he actually says that. I'm raising a future Joey Tribbiani. 

Hearing his little thoughts and having little conversations with this guy is such an absolute joy. 

Sweet story from today: my kids like to play "Magic Eight Ball," which basically means they roll an Eight Ball back and forth and sing this song Kate made up until someone ends up with it. That person makes a wish and asks the eight ball for an answer. No lie - every single time it ends up with Brooks making a wish, he wishes for someone in our family. "Me want Mommy. Me want Daddy. Me want Carter and Kate Kate." It literally makes me want to cry every time. And no matter what that dang eight ball actually says, I tell him he got it. Forever. And every time I tell him that, he says, "Hooray!" and asks for hugs. I mean...I die. 

So, let's chat school since that hasn't really been talked about in this space yet. I'm going to do another whole post on how we transitioned him into preschool, why we did it when we did, and our experience with that, but today, five months into preschool, this little guy is rockin' it. He knows his class, he loves his teachers, and he thrives on the routine of it. Tonight, he was listing all of the friends' names in his class (and some are really difficult to say!), and he was talking about how excited he was to see them tomorrow. 

And as backwards as this might sound, I actually think putting him in preschool has strengthened our attachment. Because here's the thing: a child's brain learns through repetition. If you've ever watched a young child play, they typically repeat patterns over and over and over again. Or they sing the same song over and over and over again. As annoying as that can be to parents, that's actually doing what they need to do: learning! So, although it might sound odd that dropping him off in a classroom three days a week would strengthen our attachment, he's finding security in the repetition of drop-off and pick-up. Mom leaves, Mom comes back. Mom leaves, Mom comes back. Mom leaves, Mom comes back. Over and over and over again. We are so proud of how well he's transitioned. 

The last thing that we've really seen develop lately is this boy's incredible sense of compassion. If anyone is laying down, upset, hurt, or crying, this little guy is the FIRST to go pat them on the back, ask them what happened, or tell them that "it's okay." He gives lots of hugs, hands out ice packs and bandaids, and loves the mess out of his people. I really don't know where that came from, but it is my very favorite thing about him right now. He's a special one.

Okay, that's it for today. Happy Tuesday, y'all! 

We Needed Him

This week, we celebrated one year as a family of five. On November 14, 2016, Brooks joined our family in China, and we will never be the same. All week I've wanted to think of something I could post to share with you how much he means to us, but I think the guest post I submitted to "No Hands But Ours" last week sums it up perfectly, so if you didn't catch it there, you can read it now. I hope it encourages you to trust the Lord in wherever He's leading you because His plans are ALWAYS better and for our good.

One year.

I still can’t believe it’s been an entire year since Brooks became ours. One year since a tiny, pale, very sick little boy reached for two strangers in a musty Chinese conference room. One year as a family of five. One year of learning and adapting and fighting for a little boy born over 7,000 miles away from the place he now calls home.

I’ll never forget my husband tapping me on the shoulder that day as I was completing yet another form where I promised to take proper care of Brooks. Very calmly and quietly, he simply stated, “There he is.” I looked up as three women breezed through the door carrying our 17-pound baby boy and headed straight for us. They knew exactly who they were looking for and within ten seconds of entering the room, one of his nannies was standing next to us. I barely had time to throw my husband’s phone at our guide so she could record the moment. He then reached his arms out for me to hold him, and a collective “Awww!” filled the room from the nannies and other adoptive parents waiting to meet their children. 

His nannies smiled and reassured him as he began to interact with us. He had been dressed to the nines in a beautiful four-piece panda suit, and it appeared that they had even dressed him in new shoes and sent along a favorite rattle. The nannies giggled as they shared with us that he had been saying “mama” and “baba” on the van ride to meet us, and they beamed with pride as our 13-month-old son showed off his skills as a new walker.

Fifteen months of paperwork, prayer, and tears were behind us, and our whole lives as his parents were beginning.

If I’m being honest, up until that hand-off, I’d been terrified of this moment. I’d spent the last four months staring at the two pictures we had, re-reading all six pages of his paperwork, and trying desperately to create meaning out of each and every word we knew about him. I spent many countless nights staring at my bedroom ceiling worrying about whether or not his medical issues, which, according to the file, seemed so incredibly minor and insignificant, were actually accurate. I had read so many stories of families who brought home very different children than they had expected, and I worried about all the things that his orphanage could’ve missed. 

Would he attach easily? 

How many therapies would he need? 

Will his brother and sister accept him as their brother? 

What will people say when they see a Chinese child with Caucasian parents? 

How will we communicate with him?

The list went on and on.

I knew we’d been called to adoption, and I had a peace in my heart that this child was my son. None of that had ever been in question, but the fear of the unknown consumed me. On that day, in that stale conference room that reeked of burnt coffee and cigarettes, something in me changed. As that bundled baby boy accepted puff after puff after puff out of my hands, I felt myself slowly exhale. In that moment, I realized that he, just like my other two, was just a normal baby. He was going to do all of the typical baby things his brother and sister did, even if it looked a little bit different or happened in a different timing. Developmental delays, premature birth, anemia…or not…he was just a little boy who needed a family. 

Why had I been so afraid of him?

Over the last year, we’ve learned a lot about the little boy who once kept me up at night. He sings a mean “Wheels on the Bus,” points out every airplane that passes, and throws half his food on the floor, just like his older brother did. He loves candy, hates milk, and fights us getting strapped into the car seat, just like his big sister did. He lives for goldfish and cars and says, “Mine!” if you try to take his toy, just like every other toddler I know.

The past year has been one of growth and change. We now manage Brooks’s asthma, which was a surprise to us, but after our initial few months home, we seemed to get in a groove with his medications. His head circumference, once a little bit of a concern to doctors, has leveled off and his anemia is completely gone. We are medically stable for the moment, and for that we are so grateful.

Today, Brooks is thriving in preschool and has begun naming colors, shapes, and engaging us in games and songs. He knows his mommy, daddy, brother, and sister, and we look forward to enrolling our strong little guy in gymnastics in the spring. He is the happiest and friendliest little guy you’ll ever meet and excels at greeting everyone he passes, stranger or not.

I think the biggest thing I’ve learned this year is simply this: we needed him. Not just another child…but him. When God called our family to adoption three years ago, I don’t believe it was for any other reason than for this boy. Brooks completes our family in a way we never knew we needed, and I thank God every day for not letting my fear be bigger than my faith. He is our peacemaker, our funny guy, and lets his big sister smother him like the living baby doll she always wanted.

There were so many moments throughout our adoption process where I wanted to throw in the towel. There were moments when the agency was invoicing us for an amount larger than what we had available to give them, or when the doctors told us his head circumference could indicate a neurological problem, or when we were asked yet again why we weren’t just trying for “our own” baby. It would’ve been easy to say no and walk away when things got tough, but I think back now at all we would’ve missed and am so glad we stayed the course. Many people like to applaud us and tell us how lucky Brooks is to have us, but the truth is that we needed him much more than he ever needed us. H

e’s a gift to us who is going to do BIG things in his life…we’re just the lucky ones who get the front row seats. 

Post Adoption: 9 Months Home

I will not start every post with an apology.

I will not start every post with an apology.

I will not start every post with an apology.

ARGH, I can't help it...I'm so sorry, y'all! This whole three kids thing is HARD, and I missed both eight AND nine months home posts! Dang it!

Well, better late never, I say...so, for all ten of my readers, let's see what Mr. Brooks has been up to lately! ;) 

PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Brooks hit a SERIOUS growth spurt these last few months! He seems taller, fuller, and just like he's losing his "baby." His face is getting leaner, longer, and he's looking more and more like a little boy and less and less like a baby. :( I think he's close to 22 pounds now. No clue on height, but we'll get all of his stats at his well-check in September, so I'll update those soon! I know his head circumference has grown because his "Infant" Texas A&M hat he wore a lot when he got home doesn't fit anymore. He continues to be a gross motor genius - jumping with two feet off the ground, climbing EVERYTHING, and generally giving his mama a heart attack on the daily. He wears me out, but in the best way.

ATTACHMENT: This continues to go well - no issues! Also a big victory...his night crying has finally subsided! Up until this point, he's cried out in his sleep multiple times per night. Not long enough or loud enough for us to address it because he's not truly awake, but I think that was where his grief and trauma came out. I haven't heard those cries in several weeks...so amazing!

LANGUAGE: The biggest development leap we've noticed this month is his beginning to string words together. We got an ADORABLE video of him saying, "Hey, Kate," the other day. He'll also say "Hi, mama," "Bye bye, Dada," "Night night, Carter," or the like. We're getting two words together and considering he's only heard nine months of English, we're pretty impressed! 

SLEEP: Still no issues...praise the Lord! It only improves every day. Cross your fingers as he starts preschool that we won't have any regression with his naps or nights!

FOOD: We've discovered a new favorite this month - cheese ravioli, hold the tomato sauce. ;) I think he ate about 10 on Tuesday night. Noodles/pastas/starches continue to be this kid's jam...just don't add any red sauce!

HEALTH: Praise the Risen Lord, we are COMPLETELY OFF STEROIDS! We weaned Brooks off of those in June, brought them back to help him get over a brief cold in July, and haven't touched them at all in August! That'll probably change once cold and flu season hits again, but for the moment, we are enjoying our time OFF the nebulizer!


RANDOM FACTS: Full disclosure - I was absolutely terrified of how our move would cause little man to regress, but he handled it like an old pro! Our older kids actually struggled much more than he did...he's loving his new digs!

Another fun fact - he became very interested in putting on other people's clothing this month.

Exhibit A...

He makes us laugh EVERY DAY. :)

It's crazy to think that two years ago this month we applied to adopt. We had no idea that our sweet son's first mama was entering her third trimester of pregnancy with him. I have no idea what she was feeling at that point...fear? Joy? Anxiety? I'm not privy to those details but what I do know is that she loved her son. I do know that she chose to give him life when doing so would cause her immense pain. I do know that she must've faced just an absolutely impossible decision to make when she placed him to be found. I pray that God opens some cosmic door one day where I can meet this boy's first mama...but if He doesn't, she will always have my utmost respect and love.

We are so thankful to be this little guy's family - happy weekend, friends!

Post Adoption: 7 Months Home

This sweet boy has been home seven months! (Okay, seven months and some change. Summer is hard.) 

It's crazy to think that a year ago, we hadn't even seen his face yet, and now we can't imagine our life without him. What an amazing God we serve.

So, let's see...here's what has been going on this month with our Brooks!

PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Not a whole lot of change here...Brooks continues to be 90 mph most of the time. Blake and I have both noticed that he's gotten heavier lately, so I'm very curious what his weight is now. I'm guessing 21-22 pounds, but since we haven't been to the doctor in a while, I'm truthfully not sure. His clothes seem to be getting tighter, too, so I'm eager to see how he's grown! 

ATTACHMENT: All good things here! This month, he got pretty particular about only wanting Mommy to do certain things...that was kind of hard, but it's also totally normal toddler behavior. As I'm writing this, he's currently at his first preschool camp...his first separation for longer than an hour in a structured, school-like environment. Prayers! I'll let you know how he did later this week.

LANGUAGE: I'd definitely say this has been his biggest improvement again this month. He's trying to string words together which is super cute. He'll try to say "Bye bye Carter," "Night night Daddy," and things like that. It's not totally clear yet, but he's trying which is just about all I can hope for right now.

He's also gotten really into animal and vehicle sounds this month. He knows the sounds that cows, monkeys, snakes, dogs, cats, horses, ducks, and birds make, and he'll also say "beep beep" or "vroom" for cars and "chugga chugga choo choo" for trains. It's pretty adorable if I do say so myself. Also...I've never had a kid before that lined up cars. I've always seen other kids do it, but mine never have. Brooks LOVES to do this...and it's apparently exhausting. ;)

SLEEP: So, we finally weaned him off Melatonin this month which means the days of rocking him to sleep are gone. He has a very hard time winding down and shutting off at night, so we started a new ritual at night where we tuck in his stuffed animals ("woof woof" and "ah ah," his monkey and dog) with one of his blankets and then tuck him in with his blanket. We give everyone kisses and say "night night" and then I leave the room. 99.9% of the time he doesn't fuss and simply yells "night night" back to me once the door shuts and then he goes to sleep.

Part of me is so happy about this because it shows tremendous attachment growth and also shows that he feels safe, but I won't lie, I kind of miss the snuggles! Part of growing up, I know...but knowing he's probably our last baby, it's hard to let go!

FOOD: This continues to basically be his love language. No real change here other than he fell in love with whole milk yogurt pouches this month. Mom didn't fall in love with the price (over $1 per pouch...ouch!), but since we can't get more than a few sips of milk into him here and there, I know he needs the calcium and vitamin D, so we bite the bullet and pay it. 

HEALTH: No sickness this month, and we've cut our breathing treatments down to just once a day! WOO-freaking-HOO! He also got two thumbs up at his post-op check with the urologist, so that was great to hear! Healthy boy! 

RANDOM FACTS:

Brooks is no longer "unaware" when the big kids get treats...and must have one of his own. SIGH. So, this month, he's had his first Blizzard, Slurpee, and ice cream sandwich.

Maybe that's why he's heavier? ;) 

This kid will NOT be left out of pictures. He will weasel his little tushy in the middle of the mix and "DEE!" (cheese) until the cows come home. He wants to be IN the mix...such a stinker! Also, he has NO IDEA how many "big brothers" he actually has. This kid is so doted on by all of our friends and their kids that I'm quite certain NO ONE will mess with him. He has been so incredibly accepted and loved by so many...it truly takes a village, y'all. 

He has some mad love for the splash pad... 

and went to the zoo for the first time this month!

And got another haircut...why does he looks SO BIG?!! 

We love this little man something fierce...looking forward to all the next month will bring with his first trip to the lake, moving into our new house, and another week of camp! Happy Monday, friends! 

Post Adoption: 5 and 6 Months Home

Soooo...it's been a while. ;) And it would appear I have missed quite a few updates on my dusty little blog here. EEEK.

I could write a litany of excuses as to why I haven't updated anything here in almost two months, but the truth is that life just gets crazy sometimes and the hobbies take a back seat. I know you all understand that! BUT, I'm no quitter, and I promised a monthly update from each month of Brooks's first year home, so let's play a little catch-up, shall we?

5 Months Home on 4/14 - EASTER! 

Let's call this the 5/6 Months Home Update...because truthfully, I'm not sure anymore what he did at five months home and what happened at six. #thirdkidproblems

PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: So, this little ninja has grown quite a bit since coming home! At his 18-month check-up, he weighed in at just over 20 pounds (1st percentile) and was 30.25 inches tall (2nd percentile). His head was still the same and they marked that as the 5th percentile. He's small and mighty, but no one seems concerned because he is continuing to grow on his own tiny curve. A month after these measurements were taken, he went in for a little surgical procedure and weighed in at 21 pounds, so we'll take it! He continues to be a non-stop, all boy, Energizer bunny. His favorite word is GO, and that totally personifies him. He loves to climb, jump, slide, and hang on the monkey bars. We're fairly certain he will one day excel at gymnastics. 

ATTACHMENT: He continues to do so well in this department. No tears at drop-off at church for several weeks in a row now. He has gotten a little more particular about who he lets hold him and always looks to me for approval before allowing one of my friends or a family member to interact with him which is totally appropriate and a GOOD thing. I really couldn't be any more grateful for how well his attachment has gone. He continues to prefer me for comfort and Daddy for play time...just like my other two did at this age! 

LANGUAGE: So, this has been a HUGE season of development here. He attempts to say 50-100 words now (all in English...his Mandarin is long gone) and has begun to try putting words together. He'll sing song lyrics ("Row row row ba boat") and understands generally everything we say. He follows commands, "talks" with his siblings, and has a very clear NO. (His favorite word...oy.) It's really been shocking to me just how far he's come in just six months of hearing English. He's a little sponge and it's such a gift to see him learn! 

SLEEP: We had a few rough nights over the last few months, primarily due to travel and some fear/anxiety over seeing us start packing to move later this summer, but I generally can't complain. He fought a few naps here and there, but he really has done so well here. 

FOOD: No huge changes here, but he did discover a few new favorites the last few months. Lately, he's become a BIG fan of ice cream, clementines, Cheerios with milk, donuts, and he FINALLY accepted chicken nuggets. (Is it sad that I'm secretly thrilled about this? If you're going to survive in this family, you've gotta eat nuggets. Sorry not sorry.) He continues to love all noodles, soups, eggs, blueberries, fruit snacks, yogurt, grapes, rice, quesadillas, and queso. The only things I really can't get him to eat are ground meats and watermelon. :) 

HEALTH: Alllllllll the praise hands here - we seem to FINALLY have his asthma under control! We have not needed Albuterol in over two months, and we go back to the doctor this month to discuss weaning him off the steroids. I think the increasing heat has killed off some of his allergy triggers, and the steroids helped him through that rough patch. Also, knock on wood, we haven't dealt with any sickness since late March. Praise the LORD! 

RANDOM FACTS: Brooks celebrated his first Easter since last update! 

He also enjoyed celebrating Carter's birthday...

and loved our first family trip as a family of five! 

He is LOVING all the pool days...

and went to the splash pad for the first time! 

I know all parents think their children are the greatest, but you guys, everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE, who meets this precious little guy remarks on how special he is. I was sitting at a girls' night dinner last night, and one sweet friend said to me, "I just feel like he's going to be something really special." At the risk of sounding all gushy, I couldn't agree more! Brooks is truly a GIFT to us, and when I think of all the times during the adoption process that we felt like throwing in the towel, I just about lose it. We could've missed this...and I'm SO GLAD we didn't let fear stop us from saying YES to this precious one. What an awesome God we serve.