When God's Not Subtle...

Sometimes, I believe God moves and speaks to us in very soft, very faint whispers. And other times, when you're doubting something He's called you to or just flat out acting ridiculous, he legitimately YELLS at you.

Today, I got yelled at in the best possible way, and I am so incredibly grateful.

Let's rewind about 48 hours so all of this can make sense.

Our family spent the second week of August in the beautiful mountains of Colorado (still working on that post...), and while we there, my husband and I had some very frank, very honest conversations about our spending habits. (Aren't those conversations always fun?!! Ummm, except not.) We were doing fine in the big picture of our finances, but we had noticed over the summer that we had become a little bit too lax on the day to day budgeting. We were eating out way too much, buying the kids entirely too many treats, and spending more than we should on "summer entertainment." We just needed to tighten the belt a little bit, but my husband found himself becoming legitimately concerned about how the addition of a third child (who likely will need diapers and formula for a while) was going to impact our bottom line. Add to that the stress of returning to a very demanding job after a week away, and needless to say, he was STRESSED. 

Monday morning during my quiet time, I was listening to Shane and Shane's song "Psalm 46" and the bridge of the song spoke so deeply to me that I actually wrote the lyrics in my journal. 

It says these words:

"Though oceans roar, You are the Lord of all, 

The One who calms the wind and waves and makes my heart be still.

Though the earth gives way, the mountains move into the sea, 

The nations rage, 

I know my God is in control."

I found myself sporadically praying throughout Monday and Monday night for peace for my husband's heart and that we would feel confident that we were, in fact, on the right path and following God's will for our family. I felt so confident that each and every single step of this process has been HIS leading, and that just because we were over a year into the process that He hadn't stopped guiding or providing for us, and I prayed that He would confirm that for us in some tangible way...basically praying a pipe dream, but hey, the answer's always no until you ask, right?

Tuesday morning, I was hosting a play date at a park with a few friends, so I arrived a few minutes early. I sat down on the bench to casually check my email as the kids ran off to play, and I found the most tangible confirmation I could've ever imagined. I opened an email from the Gift of Adoption Fund, and I discovered that...

WE WERE AWARDED A GRANT TODAY THAT WILL COVER 10% OF OUR ENTIRE ADOPTION, Y'ALL. 

I literally fell to my knees in the middle of the park and started crying and thanking God for this incredible provision. I immediately called my husband who was in a meeting but answered anyway and screamed into the phone, "We got the grant! What did I tell you?!! SEE?!! I told you He'd provide for us!" (Sorry, meeting people. I've never been called quiet, and this was certainly not the time for me to be precious.) Blake responded in a much more appropriate way (he's just a wee bit more professional than me) and called me later to show his excitement. 

Tonight, we signed the paperwork saying we accept the grant, and we are just in awe and so thankful that we serve a God who meets his children exactly where they are and provides for them in His PERFECT TIMING. 

And, we are so incredibly thankful for a Heavenly Father who sometimes finds tangible ways to smack his children in the head and YELL when they are struggling and doubt Him. There was no whisper today, and we couldn't be more grateful.

   

"Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you." - Matthew 7:7