Happy 1st Birthday, Brooks!

Today is our baby Brooks's first birthday. 

 

My prayer today is that he feels special. I don't know whether or not the photo album we sent a couple of weeks ago was given to him yet or not, I don't know whether or not his birthday was acknowledged by the orphanage or not, and I don't know whether or not he got some extra hugs and love from his caregivers today. My heart aches to know, but I'm, unfortunately, not privileged enough to know that information yet. 

I do know that more than 7,000 miles away, his forever family had him on their minds all day. I do know that we prayed for and celebrated him. And, most importantly, I do know that his Heavenly Father was there with him in our absence. And that just has to be enough for now.

So, how do you celebrate a baby who is halfway around the world and doesn't even know you exist yet?

You send balloons "to China" of course! 

And then you let your older kids dive into a cake in his honor.

And then you buy ALL THE BABY THINGS at Target.

And you end the day by calling USCIS to check on the status of your I800 application...and you REJOICE because it was approved three days ago! HUGE progress, y'all! HUGE!

I've also had Brooks's birthmom in my mind a lot today, and I can't help but wonder how gut-wrenching this day must be for her. A year ago today, she gave birth to the most perfect and precious little baby that she knew she couldn't parent, and what loss and grief she must be feeling today as she remembers their first few moments together. Although I'll likely never know her name or her story, I do pray that she feels comforted to know that her baby is in good care and has a forever family just ACHING and RACING to get to him. I pray she knows that he is loved deeply and that we will spend the rest of our lives showing him the love and power of a family. She made an incredibly brave choice, and even though I'm not privy to knowing her reasoning behind her decisions, one year ago today she chose LIFE for our boy. We will share this child always, and in some strange and cosmic way, we will always be connected. I will never stop being grateful to her for not terminating her pregnancy and giving her son a chance for a future, even if it is not a future he will share with her physically.

So, that's what we did today. And you'd better believe that we will do his second birthday BIG to make up for it. :) 

TGIF, friends!